Choosing Joy

Trusting my confidence

I’m a successful television makeup artist but I always research every project. I read Bios, looks at images, ask questions, shop for anything I need and then at crunch time deliver first-rate work. Even though I obsess and over prepare for every shoot I have on occasion felt overwhelmed by those voices of self-doubt in my head. This is when I sit down alone and center myself. Having a clear vision of my plan, how I will execute whatever I am going to do next, having a successful outcome is a determination that I make. It’s a choice and that is what I prefer to entertain. At a holiday party recently an aspiring makeup artist who had missed an event of mine was finally introduced to me and she was beyond ecstatic to say the least. “Sue, I would love to work with you, I would carry your makeup kit or clean your makeup brushes!” she gushed. She’s fully aware that I published a book and won my Emmy award. She wants to do what I’m doing. Many of you have had experiences too where other people say how great and awesome you are. So how is it possible that even when we are experts in our field that we should harbor even a tiny shred of self doubt? It happens. But Trust in yourself and in your confidence.

Choose Joy

Something’s don’t go our way and how we respond to it is a choice. Sometimes I yell but most times I laugh. I’ve learned that when unexpected changes happen to pivot and allow myself this new venture into the unknown. Often a change creates a new opportunity, and usually one I wouldn’t have had without the mishap in the first place. It’s very interesting but the next time something goes against your plan, stay flexible and smile. Joy comes from life’s little surprises. It takes practice and it’s not easy, but gee it’s definitely a lot more fun! In my work I talk to all sorts of people, ages and with different backgrounds. I make sure to share something about myself, flash my sense of humor and keep the convo off any hot topics. You don’t need to go far to get into a debate these days about a variety of stories splashed in the media. But I like to laugh and prefer topics that are fun, inspiring or creative. Why discuss sad things, or dwell on bad news? It’s natural to have obstacles in life, loss and pain. When I have moments with people I want them to be fun and memorable for the right reasons.

Celebrate Life

So as we transition into another calendar year lets be joyful! I lost my mom this year, so it’s been very difficult without her. But I dream with her and see her as she was in her 30’s and 40’s. Vibrant and happy. I think about the best days I had with her and I made sure to have many. Celebrating the people I love and connecting with them is a reward I give myself. Watching them enjoy a meal I cooked for them, or enjoying a spa service as a treat, even opening a card or present I picked out for them and watching their excitement makes me feel so happy inside. I think I like giving gifts more than receiving them actually because I remember what people say they like. I try to celebrate little things too. Like when I reach a goal I made for myself, this year I’ve had some excellent career opportunities and I’ve been making progress in my other projects too. I list all the good things I’ve accomplished  and I keep all the Thank You cards I’ve ever received. It’s in this massive photo album and it’s so wonderful to review them and read all those heartfelt messages! Letters from family members some are now deceased, many sentimental beautiful notes. Treasures that I am proud to still have. There were more challenging times in my life (a super long time ago) when I wanted to give up, but I sat down and read those cards and letters. I cried, they made me smile and reassured my faith in myself.

Pass the Prosecco

Now at the end of every year I write a letter to myself. As a business owner I look at the year in quarters, every three months. My letter outlines my successes and goals of course. It’s a very pretty shiny work of art that I place stickers all over and decorate. Not every goal is achieved and thats fine, I can assess what needs to be completed. It’s also filled with good wishes and loving affirmations. I’ve learned to become my biggest cheerleader. Another great way I stay focused is by carefully choosing who I surround myself. Everyone is entitled to their opinion but when people are constantly in the default position I avoid them like the flu. These individuals are so judgemental, secretive, pessimistic and complaining. Never truly happy for anyone else’s success because they are always comparing themselves to some unattainable goal. Truly miserable folk that suck the air out of the room. Maybe you know a few, I prefer to smile and move away from them. It takes practice, but it keeps me sane and emotionally healthy. I don’t need thousands of likes and followers to know how great I am. I am the star in my life without even being in a movie. Celebrating life, ourselves and the good things we create in other people’s lives are the greatest gifts of all.